Ok - so just on the rocks. But the expectation is for me to change and be under the thumb. Temper ban for me with the threat of cessation of contract, yet I know it will go on and on for her. General level and then PMT- almost two weeks of the østrogen-progesterone battle, one week bleeding...what is in between is subject to ego.
I hate it. Knowing I have to bend and bite my lip while she raves on at me. I used to be a peace keeper and for that anyone can read 'failure in relationships' because in avoiding conflict it merely postpones it.
It's about freedom, and if I want to loose my temper or go out then I will. We in this age wait too long to setttle down and get too aclimatised to choice luxury. The transition from dating and holiday bonding to 'same dewelling', bide-in, is tough and usually brought on by a litttle happy accident- or the sound of her bio-life clock tick-tocking each career move.
What happened to all those years? Late twenties. Bang, woof. Gone in a series of could-have-beens and long distance romances. The romance is the travel, the separation and the neophilia. What is underneath is just the same but emotions get a little carried away with the gettting on and off planes thing. Saying bye bye on another marble concourse.
All the space. It just gives you more space. You commit, holidays are booked up, visa cards are near limit - sensible pay down timetable- and you have bought your place because you know she does the same. You are booked out for those passing interests you used to putt dodnw as nnotthces on the bed post. No need to impress anyone or find out if dipping your meatt in some other squelchy flesh is novel. But even more time to do your own thing.
You don't really want to be that lonely guy- oh I'm nott really looking, just on thte lash with some mates- in the over-noisy nightclub. Scene of the flash dressed, skinny body shouter- all kroppspråk and no substance. Trophy hunters whom the odd, beautiful yet nice girl gets cinicised by. Oh god Morrisey you misery you were masterly with your summary.
You don't let yourself get paranoid with good long distance and a culture change either. Can't afford to or you will go mad. You give good old fashioned trust and hope she does the reciprocal and you forget about those coffee breaks she goes to with male digital animators or her divorced persuantee.
So after the distance, the elastic stretches and only two things can happen at the two year iin point- now thirty something, gasp that disco scene. Friends speed dating others holding out for that perfect one. The elastic for this two year stretch can either snap, and all is lost: flights, god that was why the graduate debt stood fast on interest minimum capital pay down you fools.
Then it can ping. One side of the sea, the other or hey a new start together elsewhere. Endless holiday or 'travel' - wanderlust sated by a seal of double jeopardy. Recipe for stress. But ping you will to her family side no doubt. You fish out of water must now make a new mark.
So take my word in your shell like and make her move to your country and don't stay on the backfoot all your life, waitting for a look-in with the new circles before you have let the roots of togethernness grow on your own terroir.