Thursday, June 21, 2007

Young man , Young man

Si les jeunnes...... if the young had the savez and the old had the body....

Okay here si some advice to the budding hetero about to start college, university or maybe a huge company with a lot of females staff.

To whom has the odd issue with approaching and approachability and is seeking a nice variety to spice up life before settling down later...much later

Uni or college in particular is the ripest period because for one there are a lot of women at most and two they at least have somethings in common- at least average IQ, middle class (or ambition that way) , non drop out . If you can't lose it- and get "it" regular at Uni then you probably never will.

The first thing you have to decide is whether you are most Gamma Male or mostly Alpha male. Maybe it swings with your moods, but both are just as easy to pull with...and use the same techniques in only subtly different approaches.

Also you have to decide what you want? I wanted wee indie chicks or anything that was going really. I didn't like proto yuppies or overtly goth or trendies or rich girls. Do you want a life long partner or just like me, erm... plenty booty!!

Be ready to walk away...if they are in your year then you have four to five years plus the extended social post uni circle that may a shy, immature 19 year old could grow into a ripe one only when she is in her late twenties or even early thirties..It may be that at that time they just weren't ready to be as "adventurous" as you i.e meat and two veg, condoms and no blow jobs....think about the mother-hen, network and snowballing ideas.

On the other hand be ruthless- it the tame wee chemistry student you can easily avoid wants to give you drunken-head then bloody encourage her! Standards are there for long term things, not short term bum-fun. However standards need to be built up towards so that you are comfortable with hunting "big game" later in life.

Here are some of the golden rules

1) the last ten minutes of the night and the que for the chippy / bus / taxi are the most fruitful

this is something I never really learnt...the club night was over, there was no score, it is time to go to bed....well yes, with someone else!

The rest of the night should be spent posturing ( see below) whereas the very last few minutes of the dance or the way home via fast food or taxi rank are the most prodigous WHY?

because this is when the prey is at it's very most vulnerable. All night they have been on the defensive- eyeing people up and keeping in their comfort zone by being hyper judgemental or turnign down a few advances. BUT now the boot is on the other foot....they have not had any attention which is going anywhere..they have 'failed to pull'....also now they split away from the pack ( see below)

also the alcohol level is still rising while the inhibitions are falling and the idea of a warm body to cling to is more appealing.

Outside the disco they will be in smaller mini packs or even alone. Then it is easier to make one to one contact and also queing has a natural tendency to break barriers.

2) split them off from the pack

this is the one technique which all guys must learn- get them away from both their wee pack and MORE importantly, your pack!!!! Your new univeristy mates suddenly become sharks tasting blood and will elbow you, the one who 'pulled', out the way. Unless you are a star, never be a fisherman for your mates...let them do that for you ( in suprrisng ways)

a good variation on this theme is foriegners and this exmplifies the rule- why? Well women don't like to be seen as 'slack', sluttish, teasing or flirtatious in front of their social peer group. However foreign exchange stuidents knwo they will only take a couple of pals with them and don't give a shit about what the 'peers' think! They are adventourous enought to study abroad- and boy! are they adventourous. They are prepared to try out the usual prizes a guyt looks for much more readily or even dabble in threesomes. No reputation to live down you see! they go home with a clean sheet and some of theri curiosusity and nymphomania cured. You can afford to have a far more aggressive pursuit of them, in the knowledge they are more adventouroous and also seekign initnamte company in the foriegn land

3) never look like you are on the pull...posture posture!

Posturing takes different forms, the best relating to networking as discussed means making yourselves look like you are not on the are going to swim in with the fin on the surface later on at the end of the night of course! You want to look like you are all having a good time together

you are most likely to pull when you least have intention! why? well you may not have noticed but someone has been looking at you, there having fun, relaxed , avoiding eye contact outside people you can actually interact with.

Another posture is the humour one- dicking around with some girls as you come into proximity. Best done as a kind of double act or just yourself on the edges. If you are a natural clown then you can lead a whole group-group introduction...this blogg is not written for clowns though! Clowns tend to be rather sad at the end of the day anyway.

Macho posturing is good for those trips to Sharon-Tracy Land .ie. trashy city discos outside the uni environ's. Tracy is looking for a Himbo, while Sharon is looking for a Hunk. nothing sophisticated but a bit of swaggering, keeping a little distance and a bit of winding up of girls who look ridiculous. Dress accordingly...which brings me to.....

4) Dress well, spend some time on yourself and find a look...

I don't mean go out in a suit and tie...dress to your social circle and dress to your natural Gamma or Alpha--- which is either "one of the gang" with the latest trend which fits in, or " the lone ranger" with something a little alternative, daring or cutting edge fashion.

Or just some clothes and a look which you REALLY suit.

In fact though, being a bit zany at Uni always gets attention... you could go out in a Gorrilla suit and be more likely to pull a fitty than in the latest Next gear

Girls need a good excuse to talk to you and clothes or appearance is used accordingly- either the 'twee' we fit in ( yawn, fashion) or the "my, my you are a bit different" approaches.

don't wear glasses unless they are special and add something to you. 'Contacts' are far better for selling yourself while posturing and musch better for say a wet walk home from Queens in belfast. They just lend themselves to eye contact.

5) Networking, and mother hens ( see snowballing below also)

Ever wonder how some guys seem to always get gorgeousy girls? Just a succession of lady young lovely! Think it is just luck, chat and good looks? wrong! it is calculated networking....

At a commuter belt Uni like glasgow, a good number of students will come with a little social network from school and usually the tennis club is their happiest hunting ground for getting into a network ( as well as seeing the skin before they buy!!)

These contacts withion the wider network are all carefully nurtured with potential scores or partners "groomed" over a matter of months or even years! If you have guys as pals or class / sports acquiantances who are in one of these circles, use the hell out of them and don't let them side line you. They can get pretty nippy when you are all over one of their groomed be subtle...get into networking with the GIRLS....these guys will never set you up with out some ulterior motive and are more likely to just try and cut you off if you are seen as a lone-shark using them. Remember get away from the packs, and get into the lady network somehow or just hang out waiting for to pick out. It can be worth offering a couple of class contacts if you like, as a potential network of your own as a sacrificial lamb to keep the guys who have their fingers int he pies interested in you and mayeb playing the game.

If you become a confidant then you may get in on the whole game. Like the masons, potential contracts are discussed with hushed voiced behind closed doors....

Alternatively the Uni may be a live away dormitory place where these new circles are very much forming. If you want pretty girls then go to the circles they are available through- is it theatre (mostly dogs or huge egos if they are pretty) ? Is it tennis? Martial arts? Fecning ?Horse Riding? Literature? somehting you have a genuine or plausible interest in where there are LOTS of females 18-24!!
Often these wee kenivuing netowkrinkers are somewhat erm, plane johns. Wee skinny, ginger guys and cheeky chappies who c oucl never be alpha males. You as somewhat better looking maybe, like I was, are a big threat. At Uni no2 time I fell into this...the wee sneakyt guys were hearding the girls up into basket ball matches and a squash ladder. They knew they were both transparent and inadequate !!! So I had to force myself in a little. Anyway the wee home boys rearley came out for serious beers and pulling opp's away from the pack mentality. The long ball, is one to be avoided in my books.

These wee networks and contacts you make as a young gamma male can come back to pleasantly haunt you later...I've had some great pulls from previous hang-outs...once or twice I even didn't realise who they were until the penny dropped. Usually they were very attractive! Ones who seemed unreceptive at uni. With their own mid twenties thing and away from the pack THEY were the alpha types hunting me down!

The next thing is the mother hen - she is a golden figure in the eyes of one of my mates who always seem to end up with them fancying him and him 'back paddle, back paddle' without a score to add to the doors. You need to be careful on that account.

Personally I find them a little bit "date fixing" and the force-ness of it means I walk away from the pressure....but I have had good "references" from mother hens and could have exploited them further. Finally on the weary side, avoid men-hens...mother hens who nurture blokes more than girls or those who always gather girls less attractive than they are...these two are very obvious....

but a proper mother hen will have the following- a high DI personality with an established social position amongst the girls, and an ever expanding little network of girls of most types, perhaps a bias to good looking ones. Most of all they will have some long-suffering boy friend who puts up with all their crap and flirting with you and others!

The man friend is important, not completely necessary, but it avoids the discomfort of telling the (often) chubby that you don't facny her...or worse you jump her bones in a drunken fit of lust...then all those lovely fruits ripening on the vines are lost to you. Shagging a nymphomaniac mother hen with OMO can be a good thing though- you can get a favourable reference !

Flirt like hell with her, play the 'poor lost boy' , play shy, play complicated, play not lookign right now, play hard to get! damn it get on the subject of relationships and why you don't have one and remmeber to posture. Spread it out and talk about 3rd parties with their nice or turmultuous relationships. She's a pal and an agony aunt and loves hearing about you and talking about other people. Watch her claws--- stay on side!!!

Next . don't have shuttle diplomacy...establish interest and then use the other "rules", splitting the suggested target off from the pack for the Kill. Rather Use mother hen to manipulate general "bumpings into", party invites or common interest ( see below) events....

Mopst of all Give feedback to mother hen - Talk only positively ... she will be wanting feedback from both sides in her High "D" yet super friendly way..don't cut her out...Uni relationships probably last two months on average with the usual two week blow keep in with mother hen and reinforce it all if you like the girl... also if it is not so mutual, good old mamma cluck will put it to you lightly that it ain't going anywhere as she will have heard back from the other side...

and if it is just a fling or there is an "imcompatibility in desires" then let it blow over before coming back to the golden goose for more eggs.

6) Walk on by....Learn to Woman Whisper

a) like horse whispering
b) what you do off ball- jealousy that counts

woman whispering is a subtle art I stumbled on by pure accident of my somewhat awkward approach to life. Contrary to all my ideas and what patter merchants will tell you, it is what you DONT' say or do and your BODY language which gets the best pulls.

the best pulls are the hard ones or the out of the blue ones.

Believe ALL the time you are going to whisper this woman and if you can't she never can be broken in!

Women like persistance without annoyance...they admire self confidence and will warm to a fairly aggressive bit of horse whispering

It's not natural to me but it is like going under the surface...imagine the disco is a swimming pool and you pop your head under a waist high sruface to get away from the noise and swim amongst the find instead little trolls sending secret communications to each other! It's the subconsious at work.

In essence it means coming towards the woman, catching her attention, and then backing away..coming back in and if she bolts, going back tofar away. Then come in parallel. Start to match body language, achieve eye contact then face a little away, move your body in towards her only slowly. It means being slightly aggressive at key points, and then assertive of yourself at others until enbough phermone and alcohol has flown between the two of you to go for the kill.

ItAs an example I had a mnate who would get in girls faces after a few drinks and then push them away! he would crack the whip a little and then just walk away...he "knew" that he would pull later on. It was 90% image, posturing and woman whispering and only 10% charm and patter!

Humour is the final part- once you have them walking along with you in terms of parrallel body language then you can come in with humour to seal the deal. Young women it seems have issues discriminating between a good laugh and falling in love- both eliciting similar rush and relaxation of sexual inhibitions.

b) the best head and pussy to suck I ever had was a wee quiet shy one with lesbian tendencies. How on earth did I ever get that? My usual type are extrovert and not as fit in the body department as the BOBWFOCW i did ...whats better it was a one nighter for her too! Well it was the jealousy card. She had show a little interest in me over the beer table, but her shyness held her back and I thought she was no longer interested. Infact I think I had come back on to her after a couple more beers and she had pushed me away, rather aggressivly. SO I flicked right over to target number 2 for the night, her pal Valerie- an eqaully large breasted stranraer lass, but with a better boat race if not tush. Now valerie either was not interested or had a wee chat with the lush bodied one and hey presto I started getting signs...her body moved towards me...a shared taxi home became the perfect "away from pack " lair to snog and then to my surprise, while under a table on the carpet she popped it in the mouth and proceeded to do the golf ball-hose thing for at least half an hour! in the end I probably filled her mouth and then she soon wanted me to leave!

So jealousy works wonders if you have been getting no where. It is a call to action! like all woman whispering it is sub conscious. I t is a powerful motivator which can be enough to tip a non -interested girl into a writing mass of wet pussy on top of you later that night. It means doing somehting completely the opposite of chatting a bird up- chatting her mates up or even a pal. As with snowballing, you may have a pal who happens to be drop-dead-shaggable woman or man, and they can be an "in" on the jealousy trick.

7) the disco is the worst place

iotthe usual kev meets shazza is a psiss poor hunting ground for the intelligent. It is only to be used during bouts of snowballing or as part of the networking effort to secure a few more contacts for future reference.

Clubs with a theme can be better- rock bars or say some goth site. Best of all are small concerts or music venues . Stand towards the back where the crowd just starts to dissapate, In the dark, move about looking for a kill or just stand about in different places seeing who comes to be near you!

OPaparties are good too, where the last ten minute rule seems to reign.

trendy or studenty pubs can be good if you can whisper or are on a rampant snowball! ( see below)

dark, noisy discos at the weekend with no chill out area are the worst. Thurdsya s can be a bit lush though- EARLY in term, in the summer or Xmas or JUST AFTER exams. People i.e students, are basically late night drinking with their pals and the whole pull-pressure thing isn't there. Sharp dressed kev and shaz or Chas and Camilla clubs are no place for a student on a budget Saturday night. Leave brasingaments until much later in life when you have some wad!!!!!!!!!!!

8) snowballing

this is an extension to networking but in a far more random and opportunistic fashion- hence it's own wee section....

snowballing works in several ways. What is it? well it means every positive "bump with the enemy" is followed up while at Uni. You ask them for a coffee, you find out where they hang out and "stalk right into them", you arrange a date!

She porbably isn't your cup of tea or maybe you know she has a man or you believe she is out of your league....the point is

a) you build confidence with the usually frail 'initialities' and bring them down to rather objective friend-making conversations
b) you never know who you will meet THROUGH that person

Snowballing is more of a feeling , a theme than a practice of building contacts and 'grooming' like netowrkiing and using mother hens. It means being on a social- roll... once you get going you gather momentum until WHOOM you get where you want to be.

For instance you may arrange a date with a goth chick and go to a mad club night, where you meet another obviously non-goth looking out of place...she turns out to know a mother hen who is in the fencing club and you marry the gorgeous posh girl who's dad is selling the nappy factory....

When I was young I did snowball, and it was to my suiting , but I let morals and "standards" get in the way all too often. Your first contact may be a dug, but as long as she is there grab it, run with it and see where it takes you. It may be for instance that while you are out with your "network" that being seen with another girl ....girls are more comfortable if YOU are overtly at ease and in contact with other females of the species or sub species!

SNowablling is also taking advantage of your rather self-satisfactory streak as a young means beign ruthless and rolling from one scene on to another in a completely opportunistic, go with the flow way. At uni there is enough social stimulus about that you can just drift away from your first point of contact without too much fuss.

I've even heard stories baoiyt guys who pulled at a party, sealed a deal with one and then while taking a lift home, popped into a disco for a slice of the action. Or onthe seedy side, were walkign past an alley saw a Tom and decided to get a blow for a tenner, before going on to score with a the tennis club captain, all twee and bearden-mairnsie accent and pigtails and real tan from tuscan holidays! . On a roll these two different guys just kept on rolling!

It's all about eating up experiences as a chain which inevitably takes you infront of good old fashioned, tasty pussy. In Scotalnd they were pretty thin on the ground and althought ere were some Mearnsie / bearsden 'clusters' in general you were as likely to meet them thorugh the post man as anywhere!

10) going for the kill- pillow whispering-

really women whispering is all about getting over the initialities. If you combine networking, snowballing and whispering then you will earn enough 'initialities' to have entertained yourself with some new freindships, potential partners and a dose of casual sex.

What do you do when you have them eating out of your hand?

Well you want to go for the kill don't you? If you wanted to erm, pussy-foot about then you wouldn't have read this far. You want to sink the beef bayonet, drive the train int he tuna tunnel, become the beast of two backs....

I was not very good a t all the above list of tips one to so far,- my young looks,tall- slim build, cycling tan ,. odd lcothes and taste in music got me into enough was very "our" time ...a great time to be a student and forget about all the normal normans and their latest NExt clothes.

What I was apparenlty pretty good at and maintained it over the years was going in for the kill. Rarely did I get fully KB'ed - and those I coudl just let go.

It's all about pheromones and body language and not pissing about too much. The wee bits we have in our groins have an attention span of about a half hour to an hour of fumbling before the moment is completely lost.

Timing----timing! You have to make them feel safe, but a little dangerous. Wanted but maybe you could just walk away!

Avoid the body language.. is there kneeeing going on? can you feel the pheromones from her lips and pussy? Relax, smell her, open your whetted lips, blow subtly. Touch her on the leg, move closer, talk into her ear , kiss down her kneck. Is she warm? When she kisses is it lush and warm? Or just a drunken death wish?

Remember the pussy is the prize, but you have to admire and climb the whole mountain to get there. Start firmnly in the foot\hills.

Eye-contact- breathing
Feeling pheromones, letting yours come over
Ear talk, kissing neck
Feeloing neck,
arm around shoulder, man grasp!
Sliding down the back
Over the bum
Back to the neck and concentrate on HER face
Moving knee into crotch (maybe, but hold Back!)

Now here comes the reverse psychology. The safe but dangerous.
If still in dark of disco you need to progress the deal . (If it is hands all over you and like, er, yes green lights, then it's a cheesy " skip into something more comfortable like, erm yo))u")

But relax a minute too! If she isn't blind drunk or eyes shut going through the motions ( which can go all the way anyway) then all this pheramonal activity and passion is going to take you somewhere anyway! Maybe not tonight. But the one thing you want to avoid is the two hour fumble sess' followed by the all-passions-spent . From Alpha male you are now a "nice guy" a bit needy and in need to going the fuck home! I've been there several times. Usually with slightly awkward, very good looking birds. You need to keep them ont he edge more and not let them fall over into clittoral numbness. Kirsten and that bird from Kinross...drop dead nine or even tens! and I just hungaroud in the gold fish manoevre too long- gulping on a dead atmosphere of worn out lips and wet nickers which now make her feell soiled!

so now comes all the reverse psychology- you need to now get away from her.. the danger for her is the loss of are a bit flightly are a catch which is not in the net ...hooked but running hte line.

The simplest is that it's time to crash out or mayeb you have a party you'd be at...the pretense is you are goign to up and go...but of course she will ask to come or just follow. " time to crash out, or chill with some soft drinks or a coffee" " wander home" " organise a taxi for you" " i need to get up early, can I walk you home though"

Then remember you are either going to snog luistly in the cab and rush in side to get sexual or you are going to take it easy. Reverse the roles " ytour flat mates might hear us" if she asks for condoms say " Oh, I don't think we're going that far while then rubbing her wet'un. All the time you are a little could walk away or loose interest.

If you have a lush appartment , make sure you have guest towels and maybe a clean bathrobe. If you live in a pit, get some more drink in her and go to her place or leave the lights off. Most things can be blamed on alcohol as the excuse. You both are actuall sober enough, but another wee cocktail or wine at the party nachtspeil or apparrtment can be enough to ensure thatr the first night or one nioght eff you see kay, can be excuscused away by her to her flatmates or pals.

Then get back into the lust warm up. Remember it is a fifteen minute to half hour affair to get the motor hot again. More is usyualy a wastye of both your time. But some girls missed out on this when they were dowdy, plump or shy teenagers and feel theneeed for a two hour snog and fumble session. If it goes over but she is still hot, then more reverse pshcycology " i had better go though" " better not stay over , what woudl the neighobours say" etc.

SO you now probably have the motor on, and if you get to play with the tuna turban, then you are likely in there, and once again, shorter than you think. Play with the niblly button, go down on her, but get in there. Be rubbered up .

but, what if there is reluctance. Now here is the real trick. If you have got this far and the siogns are all there then in fact she is pretty hot and up for some but worried about contraception, being too 'loose' , being able to enjoy it without spweing up all that booze or maybe she is a virgin and just not sure. SO now you move it to your wee , safe joystick. Now it may take quite a few attempts but you should get her hands on it first through cloth and then out in the real world. Washing it upon arrival at an opportune toilet visit can not only put you in the good books but a BJ may ensue. Otr make her wash it, turn it into a little game. She is in control and her chasitity belt is locked up. What can you loose? All those bloody teenage fumbles adn "did you get your fingers" I mean, persent them ewith the bayonet under safe conditions! let them drive! Are they interested in pleasing you?

Now getting up and going is a bit dependent on what you both feel like. If it is all abit nicey-lovey dovey, then DO stay. If you know she is a nice girl then this is it- build upon it. If however there are any 'bored' signals, get the hell out of there. After coming men fall aslpeep and women sit ehtere somking and feeling guilty and intruded upon. Little boy nice can be quite surprised at sex kitten's brush off post coitus.


Now I lay thee, oh shagging days of promiscuity, back me.

today I am in middle age. I am a bit over wieght- enough to be over the line , and also have bad dress sense. I've had the eye from maybe two or three birds in the last two or three years. I have a puss I have to cajole into start mode, fun though it is, it's not a hunt and she never takes the initiative. . I live in a country of drop dead gorgeous women and they all ignore seems...then again I am not on the prowl and not doiong any of the above. I'm just a dangerous old guy!

I kind of knew a lot of the above but like much of experience, it was at absorded at the exact point AFTEr i most needed it. In the blink of an eye, uni was over and first job and Uni again for the comeback year. My only real regret is not to maybe have been a bit more fussy with the ones who lasted and at some point cut a few of the esthers and jane rosses loose. However after this I had a lovely spell of Alpha maleness which I would have exploited more on retrospect! But these regrets are not so bad when I see some of the low score cards and growlers my mates go out with.

So young man

" i wish that I knew what I know now, when I was younger....I wish that I knew what I know now, when I was stronger"

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